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I won’t say which ones, but several retail chains have adopted a controversial position on Christmas this year: they’re going to pretend their customers don’t really celebrate anything in particular in the vicinity of the twenty-fifth of December. They’re going to pretend their customers are enchanted merely with the season

I have a thinking problem.

Maybe you’re like me, or you just know someone who is.

Sound familiar? It starts out innocently enough: you try a little light rumination to ease the inanity of a long day in a vapid world… but it never stops there. The next thing you know, you’re sneaking a shot of strong thought and hiding copies of Augustine in your nightstand.

Your family members learn to pretend they’re asleep and pray you don’t burst into their rooms with a volume of “Jack.” They hide, they ignore you, they pretend they don’t hear…

One day, you find yourself staggering out of a library, holding a copy of the Pensees, babbling in incomprehensible polysyllabic utterances like “omnitemporality” and “infralapsarian.” You finally come to the end of yourself and admit it: normal people don’t talk like this. You have a problem.

Does this describe you, or someone you care about?

Brett Kunkle offers hope.